The music of the band Collective Soul always takes me back to the
beginning of 1999 and reminds me of the time I spent with a dear friend
who reminded me of what it means to live. All hyperbole aside, at that
time in my life, about 21 years old, I was already rather jaded and
pessimistic towards many things. I felt helpless in my job, with school,
and more so with my social and "love" life.
I had great
friends during that time, but two of my closest were starting families
and I allowed myself to feel nudged out of their lives. They didn't
nudge me out, yet I acted as if I they were doing so. Then I began to
hangout with a former co-worker with more frequency and I felt renewed.
During the day on her days off from work, and my days away from school,
we drove around town running various errands and just plain goofing
around; sometimes we would watch movies in the middle of the day.
Watching movies at a theater during the middle of the day is one of my
favorite activities. Doing so in the company of a kindred spirit makes
the experience more special, in my opinion.
One time we went to the Witte Museum on Broadway,
enjoying the exhibits and the company of one another. During that trip
we made stop motion videos using a Macintosh desktop and video camera
rigged to animate. About an hour was spent manipulating the ball and
socket figures and plastic dinosaurs on the table provided. In total we
produced about five ten second videos. Nothing that would change the art
world, but we enjoyed ourselves. We both considered ourselves
"artists," but not in the hoity-toity way; we both drew, painted, wrote,
and composed music.
If ever there was a poster child for
"frustrated artist" it is me in 1999. In her I found a muse of sorts.
She knew how to make me laugh, and if I could make her laugh my day was
brighter. And that day we both spent a lot of time laughing and smiling.
If memory serves we also had brought bag lunches because we wanted to
picnic on the grounds of the museum. And picnic we did. Sitting on the
back side of the museum, in a rustic looking portion of a town, we
silently ate our lunches. We both took in the fresh air, the silence,
and the rest of our surroundings. It was funny to me at the time that I
usually found silences frustrating and awkward, yet with her they were
moments to enjoy her presence. Looking back, there was something so very
"Wes Anderson" about that day, and that is probably apropos as Rushmore had just come out in theaters. Wee both wanted to see it although we would later rent it on VHS and enjoy it.
During the year of 1999 we grew closer as friends and
never quite made that precarious leap from friends to a couple, but that
is for the best. We had many more adventures throughout the year that I
may write about, but I just needed to put some thoughts on paper after
hearing Collective Soul's Run. We both heard the song for the first time when we saw the movie Varsity Blues
at the Alamo Quarry theater. The soundtrack is so much better than the
movie, in my opinion, although there are some great moments in the
movie.
During that time together I wrote two short
stories, or more accurately a series of
dialogues between characters that somewhat resembled our situation. I
sketched more often, and some of those sketches I still have tucked away
as well. I tinkered with some melodies that I had in my head and did my
amateurish best to transcribe the notes I heard. To me, there is still a
long way to run. More moments to live, to share, and to hope for.
