Still Got a Long Way to Run

The music of the band Collective Soul always takes me back to the beginning of 1999 and reminds me of the time I spent with a dear friend who reminded me of what it means to live. All hyperbole aside, at that time in my life, about 21 years old, I was already rather jaded and pessimistic towards many things. I felt helpless in my job, with school, and more so with my social and "love" life.

I had great friends during that time, but two of my closest were starting families and I allowed myself to feel nudged out of their lives. They didn't nudge me out, yet I acted as if I they were doing so. Then I began to hangout with a former co-worker with more frequency and I felt renewed. During the day on her days off from work, and my days away from school, we drove around town running various errands and just plain goofing around; sometimes we would watch movies in the middle of the day. Watching movies at a theater during the middle of the day is one of my favorite activities. Doing so in the company of a kindred spirit makes the experience more special, in my opinion.


One time we went to the Witte Museum on Broadway, enjoying the exhibits and the company of one another. During that trip we made stop motion videos using a Macintosh desktop and video camera rigged to animate. About an hour was spent manipulating the ball and socket figures and plastic dinosaurs on the table provided. In total we produced about five ten second videos. Nothing that would change the art world, but we enjoyed ourselves. We both considered ourselves "artists," but not in the hoity-toity way; we both drew, painted, wrote, and composed music.

If ever there was a poster child for "frustrated artist" it is me in 1999. In her I found a muse of sorts. She knew how to make me laugh, and if I could make her laugh my day was brighter. And that day we both spent a lot of time laughing and smiling. If memory serves we also had brought bag lunches because we wanted to picnic on the grounds of the museum. And picnic we did. Sitting on the back side of the museum, in a rustic looking portion of a town, we silently ate our lunches. We both took in the fresh air, the silence, and the rest of our surroundings. It was funny to me at the time that I usually found silences frustrating and awkward, yet with her they were moments to enjoy her presence. Looking back, there was something so very "Wes Anderson" about that day, and that is probably apropos as Rushmore had just come out in theaters. Wee both wanted to see it although we would later rent it on VHS and enjoy it. 


During the year of 1999 we grew closer as friends and never quite made that precarious leap from friends to a couple, but that is for the best. We had many more adventures throughout the year that I may write about, but I just needed to put some thoughts on paper after hearing Collective Soul's Run. We both heard the song for the first time when we saw the movie Varsity Blues at the Alamo Quarry theater. The soundtrack is so much better than the movie, in my opinion, although there are some great moments in the movie.

During that time together I wrote two short stories, or more accurately a series of dialogues between characters that somewhat resembled our situation. I sketched more often, and some of those sketches I still have tucked away as well. I tinkered with some melodies that I had in my head and did my amateurish best to transcribe the notes I heard. To me, there is still a long way to run. More moments to live, to share, and to hope for.

Out of Nowhere, Like a Rainbow

The feeling seemingly came from out of nowhere.

Last Sunday morning, May 20, 2012 began as any other Sunday morning. Woke up, showered, shaved and shuffled aimlessly about my father’s house. Then I decided to surf the various news sites that I visit on a regular basis: Yahoo News, iO9, Ain’t It Cool, IMDB, and /Film – and for the most part I read news that I had already known of; nothing spectacular.

While surfing around imdb.com I stumbled upon an article about Kristin Wiig’s last night on Saturday Night Live.  I read the summary of the embedded video clip, and thought, “Challenge accepted,” when I read HitFix's challenge not to get “a little sniffly” watching the clip of her farewell.

As I watched clip, I wasn’t “sniffly; instead I became wistful. The skit began like any other last skit for the show, and in this skit guest host Mick Jagger played an emcee at an end of the year assembly for high school graduates, and he introduced “Tristan” as a graduate who will be missed after seven years (“She was held back”).

Members of Arcade Fire, at the direction of Principal Jagger began the piano intro to the Rolling Stone’s “She’s a Rainbow” and Kristin Wiig removed her graduate gown to reveal her actual attire. She then began dancing with members of the cast, some individually, and some in groups.

She became visibly emotional when she danced with her longtime co-stars Jason Sudekis and Bill Hader. With each dance partner I could see that realization on her face that although she would more than likely be welcome back to the show, she would never be able to truly recapture the magic that she created and collaborated on while a cast member.

As she finished her dance with creator and producer of Saturday Night Live, Lorne Michaels, the band transitioned into a rousing rendition of another Stones classic, “Ruby Tuesday.” During the line in the song , “And I’m gonna miss you” Kristin Wiig emphatically pointed to the audience, both in the studio and at home, sending us off with her best wishes as well.

With my recent graduation, the previous Saturday afternoon, I believe it was that moment as I watched her nationally say goodbye to the television show that made her a presence in the entertainment community when I began reconciling my emotions about my own graduation. I didn’t get a send off such as hers, although my graduation was televised on community access, but I did feel a sense of accomplishment that she might have felt that night, and possibly that feeling of being welcomed back, yet not quite at home.

I will attempt to capture my feelings about my journey back to college after more than a decade away and the events that took me to accomplishing my goal of graduating. Kristin Wiig’s farewell was emotional impetus for me to begin re-tracing my steps in my journey to success. 

I don’t know how I can thank all of my family, friends, and co-workers who made that feat possible for me. Without their support, I would be writing a story of how I should have stayed in school and attained my degree; instead, I will tell my story of another victory among defeats in my continuing education that is life.